Dishita's Mindbox

invisible expectations it started as we will support you no matter what and stayed that way until i made it worse— worse by lacing myself with invisible expectations, trying to be better than the rest, and apparently failing miserably so. i blamed them— for the pressure, the standards, the silence— but it was always me who became the angry shadow, cursing through each loss, reminding me of my failures in the tone of quiet condescension. a toxic relationship bloomed between my head and heart— the head, a relentless bully; the heart, the bruised listener, bearing storms no one else noticed. and it was always one achievement after another, never an end, never a stop. just a fear— a fear of being left behind, of fading into the crowd, of becoming mediocre . somehow, for them, there was never satisfaction— just a hunger to prove, an addiction to superiority, and no one ever saw through it. for that, i’m almost grateful. ~dishita

 they tell me to find my inner calling that will bring an end to the whole career stalling they tell me to choose wisely to think it straight and stride cautiously they tell me this is the turning point of my life preventing any kind of future strife they tell me this could make or break me without knowing the burden bringing me to my knees they tell me science and arts both bring equal impression but then still remind me that medicine is the only noble profession?  isnt a soldier's job noble?  aren't the civil servants faithful?  isnt a teacher's profession inspiring?  or is it all about NASA's hiring?  tell me, is it such a crime to ditch the majority?  is it such a shock to make the right side your priority? 

  (how do i get the inspiration to write poems at the randomest times?) Dear Dishita, how have you been? Has life been as happy as my dreams had seen? What about the profession that you dreamed about? Did you make our parents proud or stay in your hideout? Do you look like what we fantasized? Did you keep yourself satisfied? Did you keep your promise of self-care forever, And wait for company who respect you whatsoever? Have you got the chance to solo trip 'round the world, Discover cultures, traditions, and get adventures unfurled? Were you able to make it to our dream destination, Explore the Eiffel Tower and fulfill the manifestation? Have you learned to enjoy both wins and loss, To find beauty in chaos, and strength in flaws? Do you still find time to write and to dream, Letting your words flow like a stream? And lastly, my future self, I hope you know, That no matter the path, no matter the flow, I believe in you now, and I’ll believe in you then, You’re the hero of our story—...

 there have been rare instances where i have cried after watching a movie or series. but watching a particular series today, made me quite emotional. that was trial by fire- a fire blaze tragedy in a cinema in delhi. the cinema's name was uphaar and thus is called the uphaar tragedy till date. it is a poignant adaptation of the book written by neelam and shekhar krishnamoorthy, parents of  2 children who passed away in the 1997 fire. the series shows how parents of two kids who died in that fire, struggled fighting this case for years after the incident, exposing our country's judicial system's corruption and negligence.  the most inspiring thing about this was the unyielding strength of the parents who channeled their grief into purpose. it brings us to the fragility of life, where in seconds, the people you love, could disappear in front of your eyes.  fragility reminds us of the impermanence of life, which is like a delicate flame, flickered out by the slightest b...

In a fast-paced world like the one we are in, we tend to overlook the beauty in simple moments of our life. I realized this when I went to enjoy my holidays in my beautiful village nestled in Odisha. Traveling there after so many months made me nostalgic and overwhelmed about how much had changed in such a short period of time. I went about to open the huge old latch of our bungalow and struggled for about 15 mins trying to pry it open. It was at that normal, or much to say, mundane moment that I noticed the specialty of that antique latch. It had a delicate and intricate design etched into its surface- tiny vines and leaves intertwined in a way which would practically be impossible to notice unless looked upon very closely. As I worked on it, I noticed the fact that this humble latch which worked on a simple mechanism, wasn't just a piece of metal. It was a piece of life's story. It had witnessed countless sunrises and sunsets, greeted visitors and safeguarded my home for so m...

Beauty Lies in the Eye of the Beholder What is beauty?  Is beauty defined by looking gorgeous?  Or does beauty have something to do with our wit? Mother always told me i look beautiful regardless but do we like the beauty in us, as luck would have it? What to do when the eyes of the beholder are narrowed?  Do we force their eyes open,  or just accept that we aren't in the category of the beauty threshold,  which the society has set woven? Actually, beauty is wisdom and grace. Beauty is satisfaction. Beauty is strength and our comfort place. Beauty was, is and will always be an emotion. What is it for you? 

 guru purnima growing up this day was the closest to me because i had been brought up in such a way that i viewed all elders as my gurus. starting from the MOST courageous and dedicated woman i have ever met, mom has always been there with me through it all. she has been there when i couldnt believe in myself and has been the biggest cheerleader of my life. then comes the most adorable plus one, dad, inspiring me to be grounded and down to earth no matter how successful i get. he has taught me values of life which i would have maybe never realised alone. the word guru is something which evokes respect and gratitude in me before anything else and the biggest gratitude also goes to all those teachers who have shaped me into who i am today. i cannot actually express into words how much they mean to me and i wish that i could meet each one of them once again to show how i really feel. i feel blessed to know that i have had such amazing teachers throughout my journey and today really ma...